joyful morning sunshine

here is a moment in my life I want to remember.

sunny cold snowy february sunday morning. in my bed-lazy morning and no reason to jump out in a hurry or have an alarm clock. I wake and see that B & F are still asleep so I start reading my book.

they sleep for another half hour or so then F starts waking up.

he sleeps between B&I-usually crawls into our bed sometime between 1 and 5am depending on the night. sometimes he wakes us up when he arrives, clumsily falling between us bumping into pillows or body parts, sometimes crying he is scared, sometimes he is a quiet mouse and we don't know he has arrived.

as F stirs he touches my arm-caresses it really and then suddenly flops over, eyes still closed and touches B's face as if searching for something (F' eyes still closed) then F flops his arm over and touches my arm-now he has one hand on my arm and the other on his dads arm. then F smiles in his sleep/barely awakeness.

this makes me smile in my heart and maybe brings a tear to my eye. when F was a baby or a smaller toddler just over 1 yr he would do something similar-he would lay in bed between B & I in such a way that he was making contact with both of us either with his feet or arms. I guess it was comforting, reassuring for him. whatever it was-it made me so happy, real true pure happiness unflavored by any expectation or experience. just happy.

that is how I feel again this morning. true white happiness to see F between us, body contact with both of us, a sweet small sleeping smile on F's face. his beautiful 2 yr old skin. his perfect lips, messy floppy hair. his fuzzy dinosaur pj's that say chomp chomp.

bed is warm, cozy, soft light, the sun is streaming between the curtains. then F opens his eyes and says "mommy, mommy, mommmy....mommy" in such a surprised, searching, earnest way-not sad or scared just happy mommy-searching. I say "I'm here baby". he says "mommy, you came back!" again earnest, thrilled, joyful. I say- "where was I" he says " you were in the barn feeding the horses."

how wonderful. what a dream. what a beautiful child. what a lovely morning. then B grumbles a low sleepy laugh at F's comment.


more silly toddler bad grammar but cute.

ok that is all I am going to say.
"what her got?"

"I can't want that" (meaning I DON'T want that)

"it certainly is"
F's response to something you say that he agrees with

"I'm so proud of you"
F says this as he cups his little hands around my face

"no i'm busy"
something F often says when he does not want to have his diaper changed. alternatively when asked if he has pooped and needs a diaper change (which he obviously has per the nasty smell), he says "no it's just pee"

"under the seed"
F phrasology for bathtub playtime with toys that go under the sea

"you're my best friend"
spontaneous proclamation by F to me, his dad or random stuffed animals

"she's my favorite dog"

"it's christmas eve"
an exclamation that F says on sunny morning when there is new fresh snow

"he's a smart guy"
a comment made by F after the doctor looked in his ears